Too Soonjokes

A Russian warship fired flares within meters of a Danish military helicopter. Russia accused Denmark of "dangerous maneuvers." Denmark. The country that gave the world Lego and insulin was accused of aggression by the country that gave the world Chernobyl and a war with a 28-point peace plan.

A regular-season NFL game in Australia at 8 a.m. their time. Fans in Melbourne will watch football before work. Fans in Detroit will watch it at 4 a.m. and call in sick, which is a Michigan tradition older than the Lions' last title.

Netflix owns Warner Bros., HBO, CNN, DC, and the NFL's Australia game. The company that mailed you DVDs now owns Batman, the news, and the thing you fall asleep to. That's not a media company. That's a hospice with a login.

Australia banned social media for kids under 16. Ten million teenagers lost their phones in a day. The suicide hotline got busier and the birth rate didn't.

Under-16s can't use TikTok in Australia now. So the kids are back to learning bad ideas the old way: from other kids.

A total solar eclipse crossed Greenland, Iceland, Portugal, and Spain. America watched it on a phone, which is how we've experienced everything since 2010.