Too Soonjokes

The Supreme Court says states can restrict mail voting. The Post Office says it might reject batches. And the president says the mail is rigged. The only thing in America that all three branches agree on is that your letter's not getting there.

Saturday, September 12: the Houthis have an island, Saudi shut a pipeline, Norway's leaving, a robot hacked a library and the librarian quit, the president's golfing in Ireland, a woman in remission lost her insurance for not being sick enough, and a 23-year-old plays for the first American major in 23 years tomorrow. Tell one. Vote. Watch the tennis.

The US now controls 65 billion barrels of Venezuelan oil, eight months after grabbing the president. Marco Rubio called it "a partnership." So is a payday loan.

Trump met Ireland's president and prime minister between rounds of golf. Ireland has survived famine, empire, and the Catholic Church. It'll survive a weekend of being told the course is the best in the world.

Two earthquakes hit Venezuela and killed 2,000 people. Within two months, America had a deal for 65 billion barrels of their oil. We sent thoughts, prayers, and a drilling schedule.

The Supreme Court cleared the White House ballroom. Nine justices, zero invitations.