Too Soonjokes

The Postal Service will now reject a whole batch of ballots if one is off. Same outfit that delivered my neighbor's mail to me for ten years is now the last line of defense for democracy.

India held elections in four states and governments flipped in three. A billion people changed their minds in three weeks. In America it takes four years and a lawsuit.

A Russian warship fired flares within meters of a Danish military helicopter. Russia accused Denmark of "dangerous maneuvers." Denmark. The country that gave the world Lego and insulin was accused of aggression by the country that gave the world Chernobyl and a war with a 28-point peace plan.

A Russian strike killed thirteen in Kyiv overnight while the peace plan sits at 28 points. None of them is "stop."

A Russian strike on Kyiv killed 13 overnight. Peace talks are ongoing. They've been ongoing for four years, which is long enough for "ongoing" to be a cause of death.

The 2030 census will no longer count immigrants without green cards or ask about race. So America's plan for dealing with its problems is to stop counting them. It's the first census designed by a guy hiding his bank statements from his wife.