Too Soonjokes

The DOJ was about to sue Live Nation and the White House stepped in. The service fee on that phone call was $38.

The president marked 9/11 with a steel beam from the World Trade Center at a ceremony near the White House. The beam has been to more solemn events than most of the people standing next to it.

Toronto took the World Series to Game 7 and lost. It's the closest Canada has come to winning something in the US since 1812, and they burned the White House that time.

A late-night host got pulled off the air for a monologue. The government said it was about "standards." Standards, in a country where the president has a podcast voice.

The Rose Garden got paved and the East Wing got bulldozed. The White House is now the only historic building in America being flipped.

The Supreme Court cleared the White House ballroom. Nine justices, zero invitations.