Too Soonjokes

Two million dollars for ICE robot dogs. Congress asked how they'd be used. The answer was "operational flexibility," which is what you say when the dog's still in the box.

Nobody's seen Iran's Supreme Leader in months, nobody likes Congress, and the Brewers are in the World Series. 2026: the year everyone's invisible except Milwaukee.

A Houthi drone hit a power station in Medina. The Houthis have now attacked more infrastructure than every U.S. Congress combined has fixed.

Congress funded the government through December 11. It's hospice care with a press release.

This Congress holds the record for the longest shutdown in history and they're all up for re-election. Democracy is a dog that keeps eating the chocolate.

The shutdown closed national parks, so people just walked in. Turns out the Grand Canyon works without a ranger. So does Congress, and that's the problem.