Too Soonjokes

Two million dollars for ICE robot dogs. Congress asked how they'd be used. The answer was "operational flexibility," which is what you say when the dog's still in the box.

Congress funded the government through December 11. It's hospice care with a press release.

This Congress holds the record for the longest shutdown in history and they're all up for re-election. Democracy is a dog that keeps eating the chocolate.

The shutdown closed national parks, so people just walked in. Turns out the Grand Canyon works without a ranger. So does Congress, and that's the problem.

A glacier collapsed and took a valley with it. Ice, it turns out, has a deadline. Congress might want to look into that.

Longest shutdown in history. Air traffic controllers worked for free while Congress debated whose fault it was, from an airport lounge, on a flight that was late.