Too Soonjokes

A super PAC is spending $10 million to help Ken Paxton win the Texas Senate seat. Ten million dollars for a man who was impeached by his own party and acquitted by the same one. Texas doesn't have elections, it has re-enactments.

India held elections in four states and governments flipped in three. A billion people changed their minds in three weeks. In America it takes four years and a lawsuit.

The Guardian found ICE force-feeding a man on a hunger strike; the census found a way to stop counting people; the Treasury found nobody wants its bonds; and the Seahawks found their quarterback in a CT machine. The theme of the week is discovery. None of it good.

The census won't count undocumented immigrants in 2030. So the government's solution to 11 million people is to stop looking. That's also how it handles the deficit, the climate, and the giraffe.

Labor Day's over and 30 million people found out their vacation days don't roll over. Neither do they, apparently.

The 2030 census will no longer count immigrants without green cards or ask about race. So America's plan for dealing with its problems is to stop counting them. It's the first census designed by a guy hiding his bank statements from his wife.