Too Soonjokes

An airstrike on Doha during peace talks. The Middle East is the only place where the mediator needs a bunker.

Tyson laid off 2,500 workers by text with zero notice on Labor Day weekend. The chickens had a schedule. The workers had a group chat.

The Pitt leads the Emmys with 25 nominations. It's a show about an ER where nobody gets paid enough and everyone dies on a schedule. The Academy loves a documentary.

South Park won another Creative Arts Emmy. Thirty seasons of making fun of everyone, and the industry keeps handing them statues. It's the only show where the trophy is also the punchline.

Mayweather-Pacquiao 2 is this month. Floyd is 49. Manny is 47 and a Philippine senator. It's the first boxing match where one fighter can be censured by a legislature for a low blow.

A late-night host got pulled off the air for a monologue. The government said it was about "standards." Standards, in a country where the president has a podcast voice.