Too Soonjokes

Apple's folding phone starts at $2,000. For that money in Detroit you get a Buick, and the Buick also folds if you hit a pole.

Hurricane Lowell went Category 5, then 4, then 5. It's got the commitment issues of a man whose wedding is at Madison Square Garden.

Apple glasses will monitor your health. The first notification will be "Screen time: 14 hours." The second will be "Your family is in the other room."

Fourth of July, 250th edition. Fireworks in a drought, hot dogs at tariff prices, and a war overseas. The founders would recognize all of it.

The president told the UN that climate change is a hoax and escalators are broken. One of those was a policy position and one was a complaint about the building. Nobody could tell which.

Hurricane Melissa hit Jamaica as a Category 5. The strongest storm ever to land there. The forecasters had a category for it and the island didn't.