Too Soonjokes

Apple's folding phone costs $2,000 and preorders were moved off September 11 out of respect. Then it was priced like a funeral. For that money in Detroit you get a Buick, and the Buick also folds if you hit a pole.

Apple glasses will monitor your health. The first notification will be "Screen time: 14 hours." The second will be "Your family is in the other room."

Good Wednesday, everybody. The phone costs $2,000, the war's in month seven, the giraffe's still loose in Texas, and Apple skipped 9/11 for preorders out of respect, then charged the price of a funeral. Surprise and shine.

Apple's first folding phone is called the iPhone Duo. Two screens, $2,000, and it closes on itself. It's the first iPhone designed to be slammed shut during an argument.

Apple skipped the regular iPhone 18 this year. Only Pro, Pro Max, and a foldable. The affordable model has been pushed to spring, which is also when your tax refund lands. Apple has your calendar.

A foldable iPhone in 2026. Motorola had a folding phone in 2004. It was $200 and it made a sound when you closed it on someone. Apple's costs $2,000 and closes silently, which is how the rich end conversations.