Too Soonjokes

The Iran war upended the world economy. Oil went up, stocks went down, and the only thing that stayed stable was the number of members of Congress with kids in the military: zero.

The president says he's "not in a hurry" to negotiate with Iran. He's right. Hurry is for people whose house is under the flight path.

Congress funded the government through December 11. It's hospice care with a press release.

This Congress holds the record for the longest shutdown in history and they're all up for re-election. Democracy is a dog that keeps eating the chocolate.

The shutdown closed national parks, so people just walked in. Turns out the Grand Canyon works without a ranger. So does Congress, and that's the problem.

A glacier collapsed and took a valley with it. Ice, it turns out, has a deadline. Congress might want to look into that.