Too Soonjokes

Senator Roger Marshall sued 700 of his own patients over bills when he was a doctor and had 81 arrested. He's on the health committee. The Hippocratic Oath says first do no harm. His said first send it to collections.

They passed the budget by "suspension of the rules." That's also what the coroner writes when a senator dies at 91, in office, mid-vote.

The last twelve months: a shutdown, an invasion, a war, a trillionaire, a heist, a wedding, three hurricanes, and a robot dog. If you wrote it as a novel, the editor would say "too much." If you lived it, you'd say "at least the Knicks won."

They tore down the East Wing for a ballroom and the Supreme Court said fine. So the building has a dance floor now and no First Lady's office. That's a divorce settlement, not a renovation.

Tesla shareholders approved a trillion-dollar pay package for the CEO. A trillion. For one man. The factory workers got a pizza party and a warning about bathroom breaks.

The Supreme Court says states can restrict mail voting. The Post Office says it might reject batches. And the president says the mail is rigged. The only thing in America that all three branches agree on is that your letter's not getting there.