Too Soonjokes

Apple's first folding phone is called the iPhone Duo. Two screens, $2,000, and it closes on itself. It's the first iPhone designed to be slammed shut during an argument.

Apple skipped the regular iPhone 18 this year. Only Pro, Pro Max, and a foldable. The affordable model has been pushed to spring, which is also when your tax refund lands. Apple has your calendar.

Apple's folding phone starts at $2,000. For that money in Detroit you get a Buick, and the Buick also folds if you hit a pole.

Apple glasses will monitor your health. The first notification will be "Screen time: 14 hours." The second will be "Your family is in the other room."

Apple moved iPhone preorders to avoid September 11. Respectful. Then they priced the phone at $2,000, which is its own kind of attack on the family.

Apple made a phone that folds, six years after Samsung did. Apple didn't invent the foldable. It invented the line outside the store for it.