Too Soonjokes

Twenty-five years, and the president says two firefighters carried him from the rubble. Footage shows him on TV that morning. The last man who wasn't there has the most detailed memory, and the men who were there have the shortest life expectancy.

The president marked 9/11 with a steel beam from the World Trade Center at a ceremony near the White House. The beam has been to more solemn events than most of the people standing next to it.

New York's mayor released 170,000 pages showing the government knew the Ground Zero air was toxic while telling people it was safe. Twenty-five years later. Everyone who was misled is either sick, dead, or about to read a PDF.

Friday, September 11, 2026: 25 years since the towers, 196 days into the next war, a $5,000 bribe on the table, a president who remembers being carried, a quarterback who remembers being carted, and 100,000 Australians who couldn't see the field. Never forget. Also, what time's the tennis.

Blue, the sculpture at the Kennedy Center, came down after seven years. Trump chairs the Kennedy Center now. He's redecorating a building named after a Democrat, in a city that voted 92% against him, and the sculpture was the first thing to leave that didn't need a lawyer.

Twenty-five years since September 11 this week. A quarter century. The kids who were born that morning are now old enough to be sent to the next one.