Too Soonjokes

Every AI company promised to cure cancer. So far they've cured customer service, entry-level jobs, and the ability to know if a photo is real. Cancer's next, they say. Cancer says the same thing.

Senator Roger Marshall sued 700 of his own patients over bills when he was a doctor and had 81 arrested. He's on the health committee. The Hippocratic Oath says first do no harm. His said first send it to collections.

New York's mayor released 170,000 pages showing the government knew the Ground Zero air was toxic while telling people it was safe. Twenty-five years later. Everyone who was misled is either sick, dead, or about to read a PDF.

There's an mRNA shot that might prevent skin cancer. Half the country will refuse it and the other half will keep booking tanning beds. Cancer remains undefeated.

The Supreme Court blocked cancer patients from suing over Roundup. It kills weeds, people, and lawsuits.

Saturday, September 12: the Houthis have an island, Saudi shut a pipeline, Norway's leaving, a robot hacked a library and the librarian quit, the president's golfing in Ireland, a woman in remission lost her insurance for not being sick enough, and a 23-year-old plays for the first American major in 23 years tomorrow. Tell one. Vote. Watch the tennis.