Too Soonjokes

Brent crude hit $100 for the first time in six weeks. The Energy Secretary says drilling's up. It is. So is the price. It turns out you can drill and still lose, which Texas learned in 2020 and forgot by 2022.

Iran's foreign minister wrote an op-ed in the Financial Times. Imagine fighting a war and still having to deal with a paywall.

Trump says the Iran war will end "very soon, probably right after the midterms." First war in history with a campaign schedule. Shock and awe, then get out the vote.

Tankers are idling outside Hormuz. The world's most expensive drive-thru line, and it still doesn't take Apple Pay.

The Houthis fired a missile at Riyadh and hit an oil facility at Yanbu. Saudi Arabia asked for U.S. strikes and got turned down because the Houthis "promised not to fight Americans." A militia in sandals gave its word and the superpower took it. That's not diplomacy, that's a handshake at a used-car lot.

Darnold went down on the sixth snap with a hip injury and spent the night in the hospital. He signed for $100 million last year. That's $16 million a play, which is still cheaper than what Iran's paying per tanker.