Too Soonjokes

Microsoft wants 38 gigawatts of data centers. Michigan uses ten. They're building four Michigans of electricity so Copilot can misspell your name faster.

Microsoft wants to triple its data center capacity to 38 gigawatts by 2032. Thirty-eight gigawatts. The whole state of Michigan uses about 10. They're building three Michigans of electricity so Copilot can misspell your name faster.

Microsoft wants 38 gigawatts of data centers. Michigan uses 10. They're building four Michigans of electricity so Copilot can misspell your name faster. Your bill will pay for the difference, and the AI will write you a very kind letter about it.

Microsoft wants 38 gigawatts. OpenAI wants agents. Musk wants Mars. Altman's got a biopic. The five richest people alive are all building the thing that replaces you, and the trailer's in theaters.

Apple's folding phone starts at $2,000. For that money in Detroit you get a Buick, and the Buick also folds if you hit a pole.

SpaceX went public, raised $75 billion, and Elon Musk became the first trillionaire. A trillion dollars. That's enough to buy every house in Detroit and still have $999 billion, which is the same as not buying them.