Too Soonjokes

Apple's $2,000 folding phone, a $130 million witch movie, a 38-date Oasis tour with a waitlist, and a $5,000 vote bonus. Everything this month is on a payment plan except the war, and that's on your grandkids' plan.

Apple's first folding phone is called the iPhone Duo. Two screens, $2,000, and it closes on itself. It's the first iPhone designed to be slammed shut during an argument.

Apple moved iPhone preorders to avoid September 11. Respectful. Then they priced the phone at $2,000, which is its own kind of attack on the family.

Apple named it the iPhone Duo. Duo. Like the language app that guilts you with an owl. This one guilts you with a monthly statement.

The four-hour Musk documentary uses a CGI Elon because he wouldn't sit for it. The richest man alive got replaced by a cheaper computer version of himself. That's not a documentary, that's his plan for everyone else, demonstrated on him first.

Apple's folding phone costs $2,000 and preorders were moved off September 11 out of respect. Then it was priced like a funeral. For that money in Detroit you get a Buick, and the Buick also folds if you hit a pole.