Too Soonjokes

The four-hour Musk documentary opens October 16, the same day as iPhone preorders. That's not a release date. That's a hostage exchange with concessions.

iPhone Duo preorders open October 16, the same day as the four-hour Musk documentary. Two thousand dollars for a phone that folds, four hours for a man who won't. Same afternoon. Same audience. Same regret.

Apple's $2,000 folding phone, a $130 million witch movie, a 38-date Oasis tour with a waitlist, and a $5,000 vote bonus. Everything this month is on a payment plan except the war, and that's on your grandkids' plan.

Day 217 of the Iran war. At this point the war has outlasted three iPhone colors, two Fast & Furious sequels and every New Year's resolution in America.

Apple's first folding phone is called the iPhone Duo. Two screens, $2,000, and it closes on itself. It's the first iPhone designed to be slammed shut during an argument.

Apple moved iPhone preorders to avoid September 11. Respectful. Then they priced the phone at $2,000, which is its own kind of attack on the family.