Too Soonjokes

A regular-season NFL game in Australia at 8 a.m. their time. Fans in Melbourne will watch football before work. Fans in Detroit will watch it at 4 a.m. and call in sick, which is a Michigan tradition older than the Lions' last title.

The Supreme Court says states can restrict mail voting. The Post Office says it might reject batches. And the president says the mail is rigged. The only thing in America that all three branches agree on is that your letter's not getting there.

Bills-Lions tonight in a brand-new stadium. Two fan bases, one Super Bowl between them combined, and it's the Lions', from a movie they're still writing. The winner of tonight gets to be the favorite until January, when it doesn't matter.

India held elections in four states and governments flipped in three. A billion people changed their minds in three weeks. In America it takes four years and a lawsuit.

Senator Roger Marshall sued 700 of his own patients over bills when he was a doctor and had 81 arrested. He's on the health committee. The Hippocratic Oath says first do no harm. His said first send it to collections.

The Bills open their new stadium tonight against the Lions on Amazon. A billion-dollar building, a team that's lost four Super Bowls, and a Thursday night game streamed by the company whose cargo plane just crashed. Everything in Buffalo is a delivery that might not arrive.