Too Soonjokes

This week: a German won the American dream in Queens and didn't notice, the Lions won by one and aged everyone ten years, a horror comedy set the Emmy record, the Supreme Court said mail your ballot, and the vice president cut off 870,000 people with the word "screwed." Tell one. Vote. Watch the Bills game.

The Supreme Court tossed the White House's mail-voting restrictions four days after a $5,000-if-you-vote-right offer went out on Fox. So the Court says mail your ballot, and the White House says there's a check in the mail if you fill it out correctly. The Post Office is the only branch that has to touch both.

The Supreme Court says states can restrict mail voting. The Post Office says it might reject batches. And the president says the mail is rigged. The only thing in America that all three branches agree on is that your letter's not getting there.

Widow's Bay won 14 Emmys, the most ever for a comedy. It's a horror comedy on Apple TV. Television gave its all-time record to a show about the dead, streamed by a company selling a $2,000 phone. The industry finally found its genre.

India held elections in four states and governments flipped in three. A billion people changed their minds in three weeks. In America it takes four years and a lawsuit.

The Supreme Court blocked cancer patients from suing over Roundup. It kills weeds, people, and lawsuits.