Too Soonjokes

Saturday, September 12: the Houthis have an island, Saudi shut a pipeline, Norway's leaving, a robot hacked a library and the librarian quit, the president's golfing in Ireland, a woman in remission lost her insurance for not being sick enough, and a 23-year-old plays for the first American major in 23 years tomorrow. Tell one. Vote. Watch the tennis.

A glacier collapsed and took a valley with it. Ice, it turns out, has a deadline. Congress might want to look into that.

The Houthis fired a missile at Riyadh and hit an oil facility at Yanbu. Saudi Arabia asked for U.S. strikes and got turned down because the Houthis "promised not to fight Americans." A militia in sandals gave its word and the superpower took it. That's not diplomacy, that's a handshake at a used-car lot.

Canada, France, and the UK banned trade with Israeli settlements. Three countries that used to run empires are now boycotting a subdivision. Progress has a strange shape and a slow clock.

The Houthis hold a port city and an island in the Bab el-Mandeb, and Saudi Arabia shut a pipeline "as a precaution." A militia in sandals controls two of the four places oil can leave the planet. Your gas station heard before you did.

Trump is weighing direct strikes on the Houthis. The Houthis have been bombed by every president since Obama and they're still going. They're basically the Rolling Stones of getting bombed.