Too Soonjokes

Trump says Iran is "keen to reach a deal quickly." A senior Iranian official said they won't negotiate until their conditions are met. So one side says they're eager and the other side says they're not talking. That's every relationship at the 197-day mark.

JD Vance said he doesn't consider the Iran war a war. Trump brushed him off. The vice president got overruled on the definition of the thing he'd be running if the president tripped. That's the job.

The president marked 9/11 with a steel beam from the World Trade Center at a ceremony near the White House. The beam has been to more solemn events than most of the people standing next to it.

The Rose Garden got paved and the East Wing got bulldozed. The White House is now the only historic building in America being flipped.

Day 200 of the war is Sunday. Two hundred days. The Pentagon has a name for every tanker it's sunk, the president has a date for when it ends, and the troops have a magnet on their mom's car that's faded to pink.

The president said Iran is "desperate to affect the election." Iran has 20 missiles that hit sand. The only thing they've affected is the price of the sand.