Too Soonjokes

Apple's folding phone starts at $2,000. For that money in Detroit you get a Buick, and the Buick also folds if you hit a pole.

Apple's folding phone costs $2,000 and preorders were moved off September 11 out of respect. Then it was priced like a funeral. For that money in Detroit you get a Buick, and the Buick also folds if you hit a pole.

The foldable iPhone tops out at $3,000 for 2 terabytes. Three grand for a phone that folds. You know what else folds for that kind of money? Your knees, at the pharmacy.

Tankers are idling outside Hormuz. The world's most expensive drive-thru line, and it still doesn't take Apple Pay.

Widow's Bay won 14 Emmys, the most ever for a comedy. It's a horror comedy on Apple TV. Television gave its all-time record to a show about the dead, streamed by a company selling a $2,000 phone. The industry finally found its genre.

Apple skipped the regular iPhone 18 this year. Only Pro, Pro Max, and a foldable. The affordable model has been pushed to spring, which is also when your tax refund lands. Apple has your calendar.