Too Soonjokes

Netflix owns Warner Bros., HBO, CNN, DC, and the NFL's Australia game. The company that mailed you DVDs now owns Batman, the news, and the thing you fall asleep to. That's not a media company. That's a hospice with a login.

Netflix owns Warner Bros., HBO, CNN, Batman, and the NFL's Australia game. The company that mailed you DVDs now owns the news and the thing you fall asleep to. That's not a media company. That's a hospice with a login.

The 25th anniversary of 9/11 is tomorrow. Tomorrow's also the day Persona 6 players hit hour 40, the day the Rams wake up in Australia, and the day Shelton plays Tiafoe. The country will hold a moment of silence and then check the score. Never forget, but also, what time's the match.

Australia banned social media for kids and got the NFL on Netflix at 8 a.m. The teenagers can't see TikTok, but they can watch grown men get concussed before school. That's cultural exchange.

Netflix bought Warner Bros. and the Batman rights. The Dark Knight will now be recommended to you next to a Norwegian baking show and a documentary about a cult.

The 49ers play the Rams in Melbourne tonight on Netflix. Two California teams flew 16 hours to play at 8 a.m. Australian time. The kickoff's an ad for a streaming service, the game's an ad for jet lag.