Too Soonjokes

The 2030 census won't count undocumented immigrants or ask about race. The government's plan for people it doesn't like is to stop counting them. Try that with your cholesterol.

The 2030 census will no longer count immigrants without green cards or ask about race. So America's plan for dealing with its problems is to stop counting them. It's the first census designed by a guy hiding his bank statements from his wife.

The 2030 census will skip immigrants without green cards and stop asking about race. The government's plan for people it doesn't like is to stop counting them. It's how a man handles his bank statements the week before the divorce.

Postal worker dumps 30,000 letters. Census stops counting immigrants. TSA lets you back to the gate. The government is a guy cleaning his garage by throwing things over the fence and calling it organized.

The Guardian found ICE force-feeding a man on a hunger strike; the census found a way to stop counting people; the Treasury found nobody wants its bonds; and the Seahawks found their quarterback in a CT machine. The theme of the week is discovery. None of it good.

ICE is buying robot dogs. The real dogs kept refusing to bite the people who fed them.