Trump's $5,000 election dividend costs $1.3 trillion. The Iran war has cost $95 billion. So the plan is: win the war, sell the peace, pay the voters, bill the kids. It's a mafia movie where everyone gets whacked by compound interest.
More on The Iran war, Trump, Elections and voting, Movies, Money and debt
Related jokes
Trump promised every adult $5,000 if Republicans win the midterms. That's $1.3 trillion. It's the first time a president has offered the country a bribe in front of it, on camera, with a number. The IRS will tax it.
by Anonymous · 38% say too soon (152 votes)
Trump says the war ends "immediately after the election" and gas stays high till November because Iran wants to sway the vote. So the war has a release date and the troops don't.
by Anonymous · 24% say too soon (96 votes) · 4 comments
Trump said the war ends after the election because Iran "can't hold out." Iran's been holding out since 1979. That's 47 years of holding out. The one thing Iran has more of than oil is patience, and we just hit its coast.
by Anonymous · 34% say too soon (44 votes)
Trump promised every adult $5,000 if Republicans win the midterms. That's $1.3 trillion. It's the first time a president offered the country a bribe on camera, with a number. The IRS will tax it.
by Anonymous · 44% say too soon (32 votes) · 6 comments
The war "ends after the election," the president says. So does the price of gas, apparently. Everything in America now has a November expiration date except the debt, the war dead, and the guy who said it.
by Anonymous · 82% say too soon (55 votes)
The president said Iran is "desperate to affect the election." Iran has 20 missiles that hit sand. The only thing they've affected is the price of the sand.
by Anonymous · 86% say too soon (21 votes)
or with a username