Trump says the Iran war will end "very soon, probably right after the midterms." First war in history with a campaign schedule. Shock and awe, then get out the vote.
More on The Iran war, Trump, Elections and voting, Death, aging, and the rest of it
Related jokes
Trump promised every adult $5,000 if Republicans win the midterms. That's $1.3 trillion. It's the first time a president has offered the country a bribe in front of it, on camera, with a number. The IRS will tax it.
by Anonymous · 38% say too soon (152 votes)
Trump promised every adult $5,000 if Republicans win the midterms. That's $1.3 trillion. It's the first time a president offered the country a bribe on camera, with a number. The IRS will tax it.
by Anonymous · 44% say too soon (32 votes) · 6 comments
Trump says the war ends "immediately after the election" and gas stays high till November because Iran wants to sway the vote. So the war has a release date and the troops don't.
by Anonymous · 24% say too soon (96 votes) · 4 comments
Trump said the war ends after the election because Iran "can't hold out." Iran's been holding out since 1979. That's 47 years of holding out. The one thing Iran has more of than oil is patience, and we just hit its coast.
by Anonymous · 34% say too soon (44 votes)
Trump's $5,000 election dividend costs $1.3 trillion. The Iran war has cost $95 billion. So the plan is: win the war, sell the peace, pay the voters, bill the kids. It's a mafia movie where everyone gets whacked by compound interest.
by Anonymous · 24% say too soon (21 votes)
Lara Trump warned the war could cost Republicans the midterms. Rough when your own family is the exit poll.
by Anonymous · 81% say too soon (3540 votes)
or with a username