Too Soonjokes

Day 217 of the Iran war. At this point the war has outlasted three iPhone colors, two Fast & Furious sequels and every New Year's resolution in America.

Apple made a phone that folds, six years after Samsung did. Apple didn't invent the foldable. It invented the line outside the store for it.

Widow's Bay won 14 Emmys, the most ever for a comedy. It's a horror comedy on Apple TV. Television gave its all-time record to a show about the dead, streamed by a company selling a $2,000 phone. The industry finally found its genre.

Apple's folding phone starts at $2,000. For that money in Detroit you get a Buick, and the Buick also folds if you hit a pole.

Apple glasses will monitor your health. The first notification will be "Screen time: 14 hours." The second will be "Your family is in the other room."

Apple named it the iPhone Duo. Duo. Like the language app that guilts you with an owl. This one guilts you with a monthly statement.