Too Soonjokes

Michigan needed a controversial call to beat a MAC school at home. The Big House is now a Big Hospice with a marching band.

The twentieth death in an ICE jail this year. That's more than the number of days Congress has spent on it, combined.

Fashion Week: seven days of thin people wearing things nobody will buy, reviewed by people nobody reads, in a city nobody can afford. Congress with better lighting, worse snacks, and the same number of women in charge.

America turned 250 and buried a time capsule with documents from all three branches of government. Someone in 2126 will dig it up and find three branches that couldn't agree on what to put in a box.

This Congress holds the record for the longest shutdown in history and they're all up for re-election. Democracy is a dog that keeps eating the chocolate.

The shutdown closed national parks, so people just walked in. Turns out the Grand Canyon works without a ranger. So does Congress, and that's the problem.