Too Soonjokes

Apple's folding phone starts at $2,000. For that money in Detroit you get a Buick, and the Buick also folds if you hit a pole.

Apple's folding phone costs $2,000 and preorders were moved off September 11 out of respect. Then it was priced like a funeral. For that money in Detroit you get a Buick, and the Buick also folds if you hit a pole.

The foldable iPhone tops out at $3,000 for 2 terabytes. Three grand for a phone that folds. You know what else folds for that kind of money? Your knees, at the pharmacy.

iPhone Duo preorders open October 16, the same day as the four-hour Musk documentary. Two thousand dollars for a phone that folds, four hours for a man who won't. Same afternoon. Same audience. Same regret.

Day 217 of the Iran war. At this point the war has outlasted three iPhone colors, two Fast & Furious sequels and every New Year's resolution in America.

SpaceX went public, raised $75 billion, and Elon Musk became the first trillionaire. A trillion dollars. That's enough to buy every house in Detroit and still have $999 billion, which is the same as not buying them.